GROWING PAINS

When a child is young its parents go all out to teach it how to walk and talk. When it grows up, the very same parents now expend double the energy telling the “child” to shut up and sit down! A reversal of roles, or a changed situation? What has gone awry in the Parent-Child relationship, often referred to as growing pains?

Dr Eric Berne, in his best seller “Games People Play – The Psychology of Human Relationships” has developed a school of psychology called “Transactional Analysis”. It is based on the three ego states in every individual – Parent, Adult and Child. The all knowing, all-powerful Parent interacts naturally with the ignorant and dependent Child. Similarly, two Adults can interact naturally on an equal footing based on mutual respect and rationality, not superiority or authority. The problem arises when a dependent and ignorant Child grows up and evolves into a young Adult, with its own critical awareness.

The equations now need to change from a Parent-Child transaction to an Adult-Adult one. This is where the conflicts, aggression and misunderstandings begin, often called the “generation gap”. It is actually a “communications gap”, where the Parent still wants to speak (give orders, make decisions), and expects the young adult to listen and obey. The young Adult does not see the rationale of the Parent’s diktat, and rebels or reacts, resulting in a breakdown of relationships and communication. If left unattended it degenerates further into resentment and recrimination. Here the role of the Parent is crucial. It must recognise the changed circumstances, and make a deliberate climb down. The Parent must get off its high horse and recognise the rational young Adult. If not, the emergent Adult will either rebel, withdraw into silent indifference, or simply walk out.

Let us now juxtapose these transactions (relationships) on the Catholic Church, which is also a family (community). For centuries the Church has been referred to as a Mother, and its pastors, even if they are in their twenties, are called Fathers; thereby reinforcing the “Parental” nature and stature of the hierarchical church. The natural consequence was that the laity was treated as an ignorant and dependent Child, who had to pray, pay and obey. The Parental role of the hierarchy was accentuated in a Gora Padre Sahib/ Brahminical order, in a mission land like India. Here the convert was totally dependent on the missionary priest – for salvation, education and employment. The Parental role was deeply entrenched.

What happened in the West? The industrial and print revolutions resulted in the Protestant Reformation. The people were no longer dependent or ignorant. They had grown up, and flew from the nest, to live their own independent lives.

Despite its rich liturgical and artistic legacy, the Catholic Church in Europe (erstwhile Christendom) was faced with a mass exodus and empty churches, especially after the two World Wars. Pope John XXIII recognised these symptoms in time, and converted adversity into an opportunity. In 1962 he convened the Second Vatican Council (VAT II), praying for a new Pentecost, a fresh outpouring of the Holy Spirit and aggiornamento (updating or renewal).

VAT II was a sea change in the Church’s self-understanding (ecclesiology). Unfortunately, 46 years after VAT II ended in 1965, we have seen only cosmetic changes, as in the liturgy and the dress of priests and nuns. We have not seen the deeper attitudinal changes envisaged by VAT II vis-à-vis the world, other religions, science, etc; and its own internal attitudes, especially with regard to the laity. Here again, in a poor, ignorant, dalit or tribal community like India’s, the laity has been largely ignored or sidelined. Lay leaders who quote scripture, VAT II or Canon Law are not treated with equanimity as behoves an Adult-Adult relationship. They are, instead, branded as rebels, critics or troublemakers. Such knowledgeable lay leaders therefore withdraw into a silent sulk, rebel against the system, or simply quit the Church, as they are no longer afraid of damnation or ostracisation.

It is time for the hierarchical church (bishops and priests) to make a determined and conscious climb down, to shed their earlier Parental role, and interact with the laity on an Adult-Adult basis. This obviously requires openness, love and humility. The evidence so far is to the contrary.

In Sunday sermons we are reminded ad nauseum that we must be childlike to enter the kingdom of heaven. We are also reminded that the poor will inherit the earth. The message is loud and clear – stay where you are as an ignorant, dependent Child. Don’t attempt to be self-reliant – financially, intellectually or spiritually. You have to come to the “Father”, the one in the presbytery, not the one in heaven, for all your needs! This is a gross distortion of sacred scripture and VAT II ecclesiology.

Some of St Paul’s exhortations are poignant. He rebukes the Corinthians for their inability to grow up. “I was not able to talk to you as spiritual people; I had to talk to you as people … still infants in Christ; I fed you with milk and not solid food, for you were not able to take it” (1Cor 3:1-2). He exhorts them to imitate his maturity. “When I was a child, I used to talk like a child, and see things as a child does; and think like a child; but now that I have become an adult, I have finished with all childish ways” (1Cor 13:11). The Letter to the Hebrews is even more explicit. “We have many things to say, and they are difficult to explain, because you have grown so slow at understanding. Indeed, when you by this time should have become masters, you need someone to teach you all over again; …you have gone back to needing milk, and not solid food. Truly, no one who is still living on milk can digest the doctrine of saving justice, being still a baby. Solid food is for adults with minds trained by practice to distinguish between good and bad” (Heb 5:11-14). These words seem to be addressed directly to the infantile suckers that the Indian laity is.

Let us also revert to the Old Testament. The prophetic call to Jeremiah is, “I have put my words into your mouth. Look today I have set you over the nations and kingdoms, to uproot and to knock down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant” (Jer 1:9-10). A clarion call to revolution?

The prophet Ezekiel warns against the sin of silent indifference. “If you do not speak to warn someone wicked to renounce evil and to save his life, it is the wicked person who will die for his guilt, but I shall hold you responsible for that death” (Ez 3:18-19). He expands further by saying “If, however, you do warn someone wicked to renounce such ways and repent, and that person does not repent, then the culprit will die for this guilt, but you yourself would have saved your life” (Ez 33:8-9). Jesus, who was familiar with, and often quoted Jewish scriptures, may have had Ezekiel’s warnings in mind when he said, “If your brother does something wrong, go and have it out with him alone, between your two selves. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you … But if he refuses to listen to these, report it to the community; and if he refuses to listen to the community, treat him like a gentile or a tax collector” (Mat 18:15-17).

It is therefore incumbent on enlightened lay leaders to speak out on matters of common interest, be they acts of commission (wrong doing); or acts of omission, like the non-implementation of VAT II teachings regarding the role of the laity, or the provisions of Canon Law pertaining to the temporal goods of the Church, and participatory bodies like pastoral councils and finance committees.

VAT II ecclesiology has also moved from papal authoritarianism to the collegiality of bishops; from a paternalistic attitude towards the laity, to a fraternal (Adult-Adult) one. A few quotes from the Dogmatic Constitution of the Church (Lumen Gentium) will suffice for now. Talking of the laity in Chapter IV it says, “They are in their own way made sharers in the priestly, prophetic and kingly functions of Christ” (LG 31). It defines the lay vocation saying “A secular quality is proper and special to laymen” (Ibid). And again, “The laity, by their very vocation, seek the kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and by ordering them according to the plan of God” (Ibid).

Those who wrote this document must have been good psychologists. Here is what it says. “By divine condescension the laity have Christ for their brother .. They also have for their brothers those in the sacred ministry” (LG 32). In relation to the clergy it again says “Every layman should reveal to them his needs and desires with that freedom and confidence which befits a son of God, and a brother in Christ” (LG 37). Harking back to Jeremiah and Ezekiel’s prophetic roles it states “An individual layman by reason of the knowledge, competence or outstanding ability which he may enjoy, is permitted and sometimes even obliged to express his opinion on things which concern the good of the church” (Ibid). It is more than obvious that the laity has an important, fraternal (Adult-Adult) role to play in both church and society. There is a rider though. One needs learning, competence and outstanding ability. This is where the laity has failed miserably. We are still a bunch of ignoramuses that are largely unaware of our rights and duties.

This suits the “Fathers in Mother Church”, who are quite comfortable with an ignorant, subservient and dependent laity. The blame must be apportioned between both the hierarchy and the laity. Where there is a will there is a way. Who has stopped the laity from acquiring knowledge and skills? For years the AICU has been laying stress on leadership training, from the time of late Rev D.S. Amalorpavadas’ Jagruti programmes, to George Menezes’ emphasis on “Effective Christian Leadership”, down to the present day under Dr Remy Denis’ presidentship.

Those familiar with pre and post VAT II ecclesiology would have heard of the pyramidical and concentric models of the Church. In the pyramidical model there was a hierarchical structure, with the laity at the bottom of the heap. This followed the trickle down theory. But if the pyramid is made of hard rock, nothing can permeate it. The water will just run off. In the concentric model we are told that we are all equal (fraternal) but the laity is in the outermost circle, the periphery. Hence nothing much has changed. Earlier we were at the bottom, now we are at the edge. In this latter model we are exposed to the ripple effect, as from the epicentre of an earthquake. Here again, if the structure is earthquake resistant, there will be hardly any impact.

Judging the tree by the fruit it bears, one is constrained to conclude that the hierarchical church in India is both waterproof and earthquake resistant, which is why the wished for renewal of VAT II has not permeated the life and praxis of the church. How do we rectify this?

I see three approaches in history. All begin with the letter R. One is the Reformation, as initiated by Martin Luther, that resulted in a mass exodus from the Catholic Church. The second is Revolution, as seen in the French Revolution’s battle cry of “Liberty, Equality, Fraternity”. The ire of the revolutionaries was directed as much against the opulent church as against a corpulent aristocracy. This resulted in a sharp divide between Church and State, and an inordinately secularised way of life, as prevalent in France and much of Europe till today.

The third option was Renewal. The Catholic Church in thirteenth century Europe was going through the Dark Ages, where temporal power and lust reigned supreme. In that dismal scenario St Francis of Assisi was given the onerous task, “Go and repair my church”. He did it through personal and collective Renewal, by a return to pristine gospel values. He chose to renew from within, rather than to reform, revolt or criticise from outside.

We the laity of India could learn some lessons from church history, sacred scripture, VAT II teachings and Canon Law. Who is there to stop us in the true Renewal of the Catholic Church in India? I see the role of the AICU and its affiliated Catholic Associations, as also the forthcoming Lay Synod, as an important step in that direction. It will avoid unwarranted growing pains, and make for a happy family (community) life, based on mutual respect.

* The writer is a former National President of the All India Catholic Union.