Saturday, 14 February 2015

CHRIST – MINUS CAROLS (Ditties that seem to be the flavour this Christmas season


Silent Knight shining bright
Despite 288 warriors upright
He has not the might
To address the house aright
Oh what a pitiable sight!

Jungle bells, jungle hell
The yeoman does yell.
The “others” will go to hell
For all is now not swell
When such ideology they sell.

Novel. Novel the agents did say
Remove all those cribs and hay
Today is Good Governance Day.
This is the novel new way
Or a heavy price you will pay.

The three wise men from the East
Namu, Amtu Mohu have a tryst
They are the leaven and the yeast.
Bethlehem shan’t have cow or beast
Nor star, tree or other feast.

Oh come all ye faithful
Listen to this mouthful.
If you want to be ever youthful
Don headgear that is featherful
Though skullcaps are awful.

Thou shalt not henceforth convert
If you do you are a pervert.
Your plans we shall subvert
For our ancient culture you hurt.
“Home-coming” is only to revert.


CHRISTMAS 2014

NAKED @ NEW YEAR


“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall return” (Job 1:21). This was the experience of the Prophet Job, known to Muslims as Ayub. These words are apt for Aamir Khan’s latest blockbuster – “PK”. My wife and I watched the movie on New Year’s Day, the first day that it had been declared tax-free in U.P.; because Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav believed that it contained a strong social message, and hence needed a wider audience.

Having just seen the movie I couldn’t agree more. The theatre was houseful. More than the movie’s message was the audience’s response, which was the real proof of the pudding. There were moments of comparative quiet in the fire-bucket seats below, where the “lumpen elements” usually sit. Otherwise they were with PK all the way, whistling and thundering their approval. Such an audience connect was the best retort to those right wing Hindutva elements that were crying foul and opposing the movie. If vox populi is indeed vox dei, then the people have expressed their collective social conscience.

For those lesser mortals that have not yet seen PK, it is about Aamir Khan, an alien from another planet, who gets a rude awakening when he lands nude on planet Earth. Apparently, on his native planet there was no need of apparel, social mores or putting on pretence. You were what you were, hence did not need to wear anything, let alone a plastic smile! Period.

Not so on Planet Earth. Clothing is its first cover up operation (pun intended). Then comes language; words and colours that mean different things to diverse peoples, religions and cultures. So we have Hindu widows and Christian brides wearing white, while Christian widows and Muslim women wore black. We may take such things for granted, but for an alien like PK it is an eye-opener. And Aamir does manage to keep his eyes wide open, his big ears flapping, his Charlie Chaplain gait amusing, and his abundant flow of seemingly innocuous questions quite flabbergasting.

It is his constant questioning of human behaviour, that we “normal” humans take for granted, that he finds so abnormal; earning him the sobriquet “PK”, Hindi for somebody who is inebriated. He is indeed inebriated, with another spirit – that of seeking rational or plausible answers.

PK’s search is most exasperating when he is confronted with organized religion, which seems replete with double standards and intolerance of the “other”. This is especially marked in the Hindu-Muslim divide. There are some minor takes on a terribly Bambaiya style of Christianity, and Sikhs (minus stupid sardarji jokes). But the undercurrent is on the Hindu-Muslim divide and the sheer hypocrisy of sham babas. With the likes of Asaram Bapu in the clink, for alleged rape and murder, this is not surreal.

There is a hilarious take on an actor bedecked as Lord Shiva coming on stage for a drama; which some could find offensive. But I recall several such gags in a French-Canadian comedy show called “Just for Laughs – Gags”. They have several spoofs on priests, nuns and even the Lord Jesus. I have also seen some shows on Comedy Central where they go to town with their light-hearted banter about various ethnic groups, and definitely not politically correct. Has anybody seen “Citizen Khan” a British spoof on a Pakistani Muslim family? No offence meant anywhere. We Indians have lost our sense of humour (if indeed we had one) and are more prone to rumour. We lack the ability and humility to laugh at ourselves.

But PK is no laughing matter. In a light-hearted manner it addresses some really heavy stuff. Devoid of the Bollywood hype, PK is definitely paisa vasool. Both Aamir and co-star Anoushka Sharma acquit themselves well, while holding the rest of us guilty! I would agree with Akhilesh Yadav that PK has a strong social message. To find out more, go see the movie. It is better to bare one’s soul than to walk around naked like the Emperor who had no clothes; but nobody had the guts to say so. PK does. It should make the new year happier for you and yours.




JANUARY 2015

NOT GODSE, FOR GOD’S SAKE

Mahatma Gandhi was assassinated on 30th January 1949 in Birla House, New Delhi. On the eve of his assassination I am reminded of his killer, Nathuram Godse of the Hindu Mahasabha. Godse is back in the news thanks to those seeking to idolize him, and even build temples in his honour.

His loquacious proponent is Sakshi Maharaj, the saffron clad BJP MP from my neighbouring district of Unnao. It is not insignificant that the sadhu himself is a prime accused in the murder of one Brahm Dutt Dwivedi, an MLA from another adjoining district of Farrukhabad. He is allegedly involved in some other heinous crimes as well. So small wonder then that he and his ilk seek to idolize Godse. But God forbid that such should actually happen.

In this era of 3G, 4G and 5G, we are called to choose between the 2 Gs. Haanjee, the two Gs that I am referring to are Gandhi the victim, and Godse the assassin.

What drove Godse to murder Gandhiji? Apparently the Hindu Mahasabha was infuriated because Gandhiji acceded to the partition of the country, with a separate homeland (Pakistan) for the Muslims. He had also insisted that the compensatory contractual sum of Rupees Fifty Five Crores be handed over to Pakistan. At Independence, when the rest of the country was feasting (in celebration mood) Gandhiji was fasting in Bengal, to try and stop the genocide being perpetrated at Novkhali. The Hindu extreme right perceived these acts of Gandhiji as being partial to the Muslims. They saw red, so they shot him dead.

 In all probability the terrorists who shot dead the Charlie Hebdo cartoonists were also filled with righteous indignation and misplaced ardour. The same goes for the Pakistani Taliban that slaughtered innocent children in Peshawar, and the Boko Haram who are indiscriminately killing thousands in Nigeria, and now Niger. When will this self-righteous indignation end?

When we turn to the other G. Several of us could have causes that we passionately espouse. We could also have major differences of opinion with the “other”. But that does not, in any way, justify killing the opposition. It is here that the other G shows the way.

When the freedom struggle was at its zenith a group of zealots (a deliberate choice of word) torched a police station in Chauri Chaura. Gandhiji immediately put the freedom struggle on hold. In like manner, during the Second World War (1939-45) Gandhiji extracted a promise from the British that he would support their war effort, provided that after the war ended, India would be granted freedom. The rest is history.

There are many such instances in the life of the Mahatma, when he subjugated his own plans to that of the greater good. That is the hallmark of greatness. It is also the skill of a master negotiator, and the magnanimity of a Spirit filled person. No one can ever please all, so there will always be disgruntled and disillusioned elements. In no way does that justify taking the lives of the antagonists; or worse still, the innocent lives of those not even remotely involved in the conflict.

As we commemorate the 66th anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi’s martyrdom let us make a choice between the 2 Gs. For God’s sake, let it not be for Godse!



JANUARY 2015